I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
