were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize