Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
