we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
