ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
