I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
