Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
