bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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