I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
