i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
not ubering you a puppy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
