Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm like, not good at living.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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