Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
