I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
