Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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