the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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