i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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