quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
