its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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