You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
