NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize