Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
