This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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