I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
this boner is exhausting
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
