it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
