There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
