Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
