You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
