Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
