She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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