even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
