it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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