I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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