Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
