420 ftw
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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