We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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