i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
