if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
