After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Houston, we have a squirter
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
