he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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