I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
