The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
