I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I puked a lego.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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