You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
