how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
