will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
