I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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