I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
