I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
