on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
only you would photoshop your dick
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
