I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
