When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
