Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
