Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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