How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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