Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
