We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
