laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize