I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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