My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just pee around me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we should paint friendship bongs
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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