fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
