Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
